- THE THING: "Help" on the phone from UPS.
- THE HAIKU REVIEW:
doesn't have to be perfect.
Please, at least, just try.
- THE FULL REVIEW:
I ordered a package of stuff from Homestar Runner -- a CD and some little models of some of the characters.
I filled in the order form quickly, because the place had most of my info already, which was great! My faithful readers will know that I have recently moved. Well, when I got the confirmation e-mail for the order... they had my old address! ACK!
I quickly whipped off an e-mail saying that the address was wrong and I needed to change it. They immediately responded that I needed to talk to UPS. So I called.
ME: Hi. I'm an idiot. I just placed an order with a company and they had my old address. I need to change the delivery address, if possible.
UPS PERSON: Sure! You can't do it now, though, you have to wait until it hits the hub near you. It will on Monday -- just call back then! No problem.
Monday comes around... I call.
ME: Hi. I'm an idiot. I just placed an order with a company and they had my old address. I need to change the delivery address, if possible. I talked to someone last week, and they said I could call back now and do that.
UPS PERSON: You can't do it until the driver makes one delivery attempt.
ME: What? Why?
UPS PERSON: So that we know it is the wrong address.
ME: BUT, if the driver comes and there is no one there, won't he just leave it at the house?
UPS PERSON: Yes.
ME: Well that's a problem! If he leaves it, the homeowners might just trash it. There is a chance that I will never see this stuff!
UPS PERSON: That's the way it is. It'll be delivered today. If it is rejected, you can try tomorrow.
... and I hung up.
So, I called back the next day.
ME: Hi. I'm an idiot. I just placed an order with a company and they had my old address. I need to change the delivery address, if possible. I talked to someone last week, and they said I could call back now and do that. And I talked to someone yesterday, and they said that the driver would have to make an attempt first. That should have happened by now, so I am seeing if the package was rejected. (I gave him my tracking number.)
UPS PERSON: Actually, it hasn't been delivered yet at all.
ME: Oh. Well, I guess I can't fix it then. The person told me I can't change it until the driver tries once. Is that true?
UPS PERSON: Yes.
ME: You see, I was just worried that he will just leave it there, and the people wouldn't want to have to call UPS back so they just throw it away.
UPS PERSON: Yeah, that would be bad.
ME: So you can't fix it.
UPS PERSON: Well, I can try. See, we can send a message over to the hub and the drivers, and if they get the message in time. They might not, though. There's no guarantee.
UPS PERSON: So. Would you like me to try?
ME: [longer, even more dumbfounded silence.]
UPS PERSON: Sir?
ME: YES! OHMIGOD are you freaking kidding me??
UPS PERSON: Excuse me?
ME: You even have to ask THAT QUESTION? Yes, try!! That is what I have been asking for all along!! I don't want you to hop on a pony and scurry over with a handwritten sealed message!! Just try! Are you kidding?
UPS PERSON: I'm not kidding, sir.
ME: Well then DO IT! Holy crap. The other person I talked to could have TRIED, as well???
UPS PERSON: If she wanted to, yes sir.
ME: [extremely dumbfounded silence. punctuated by exasperated gasps.]
UPS PERSON: So, I'll send the message over, and they will get back to you within the hour with a result.
And they did. And it was fixed.
I am unsure that I will be able to finish my life without taking someone else's.
I think I am getting old and crotchety.