Thursday, May 08, 2003


  • THE THING: The VH-1 100 Top One-Hit Wonders
  • THE HAIKU REVIEW:
          A few surprises
              special guests and Shatner hosts
                  a good reminisce
  • THE FULL REVIEW:
    OK, I'm actually only reviewing the TOP 20, because that was the only part I saw. It was probably an old show that's being replayed, but I never saw it before. Anyway, I hope this isn't a spoiler for those of you who want to watch it when it comes around again, but this is their top 20:

    20 -- She Blinded Me with Science -- Tom Dolby
    19 -- In a Gadda Da Vida -- Iron Butterfly
    18 -- Nothing Compares 2 U -- Sinead O'Connor
    17 -- We're Not gonna Take It -- Twisted Sister
    16 -- Rapper's Delight -- The SugarHill Gang
    15 -- 96 Tears -- ? & the Mysterians
    14 -- Groove is in the Heart -- Dee lite
    13 -- The Hustle -- somebody
    12 -- Baby got Back -- Mix a lot
    11 -- You Light up My Life -- D. Boone
    10 -- 99 Luft Balloons -- Nena
    9 -- Rico Suave -- Gerardo
    8 -- Take on Me -- A-ha
    7 -- Ice, Ice Baby -- Vanilla Ice
    6 -- Who let the Dogs out -- Baha Men
    5 -- Mickey -- Toni Basil
    4 -- I'm 2 Sexy -- Right Said Fred
    3 -- Come on Eileen -- Dexy's Midnight Runners
    2 -- Tainted Love -- Soft Cell
    1 -- Macarena... whoever did that song.

    Sorry I forgot a couple of the artists. I guess that's the true sign of a One Hit Wonder -- you remember the song, but not even who did it. You are referred to by your song -- i.e. "The Hustle Guy. You know, The Guy Who Did The Hustle Song."

    Apparently I like One Hit Wonders, since I think SIX of those have a perfect 100 rating on my Launch Radio station. And one has a 95, if I remember correctly. I won't tell you which ones, but if you know me, you could probably guess. The Macarena is not among them.

    I really have to disagree with putting the Macarena on there. I mean it was HUGE, but only for like 17 minutes, and then it went away. I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear that song again for the rest of my life. Nor would I be sad about that.

    There was some cool background info on the show. They talked about ? & the Mysterians (they did "96 Tears", number 15 on the list) for a bit. I had no idea the lead singer's name was ?. Makes me a lot less impressed about the whole "Artist Formerly Known as Prince" thing. Not that I was ever really impressed...

    Remembering songs like "Mickey" and "Come On Eileen" and "Tainted Love" and "Take On Me" and a bunch of others was just great. Seeing Thomas Dolby up there was pretty sweet; he's pretty impressive, I think. Aliens Ate My Buick is one of the best albums, ever.

    SO, the show was fun, informative, and reminisciatory (sic).

Tuesday, May 06, 2003


  • THE THING: This book: The Soul Eater, by Mike Resnick, © 1981
  • THE HAIKU REVIEW:
          Energy creature
              lives in space, lives forever.
                  Can it be destroyed?
  • THE FULL REVIEW:
    Nicobar Lane is a hunter. His business card simply says, "I kill things." He is one of the best, and there has never been a creature he has not been able to destroy.

    There is a legend -- mostly rumors told by near-insane old settlers of the far frontier -- of a creature that lives in space, is basically made of energy, and is impossible to kill. It goes by many names, but the most common seems to be the Dreamwish Beast.

    When Nicobar meets up with this creature, he decides to make it his greatest, and most likely his final, hunt.

    This is a book by Mike Resnick, thus it is good. I've read at least two dozen of his decent-sized books, and an equal number of his short fictions, and he has no trouble writing in nearly any genre: fantasy, sci-fi, humor, adventure, romance -- he can do it all with equal acumen. If you ever see a book by Resnick (and I swear he's written thousands), just buy it and read it.

FInal Score on the Chris Worth Scale: This was not Resnick's best, but still a wonderful 200 pages of action, drama, and unique science fiction -- I'll call it $4.95.

Sunday, May 04, 2003


  • THE THING: This book: The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life, by Laurie Notaro, ©2002
  • THE HAIKU REVIEW:
          One clutzy writer,
              add friends, neighbors, smokes and drinks.
                  Hilarity ensues.
  • THE FULL REVIEW:
    This is a bunch of short stories and observations from the eyes of Laurie Notaro -- who seems to spend a decent chunk of here time groping in her purse for smokes, trying to bum drinks from people in bars, and avoiding public toilets (I can completely relate -- hey, ladies, you think it's bad when the women miss, I swear some guys think they are urine artists... pissing is their medium. They paint the seat, the walls, the floor. It's insane. Try wading through shoe-sole deep urine just to GET to the soaked seat.).

    But I digress. This book is short and quick; easily devoured. There were times when I couldn't hold the book still, I was laughing so hard. She seems to have a fondness for the stronger drinks that I have only seen in one other person -- if I track our family history back far enough, she and I are probably related.

    She has had experiences with dentists as inhuman medieval torture devices, and I can relate to that, as well. There is a tale called "A Hole in One", where one of her teeth basically partially disintegrates, and she has to have it removed. It had just successfully been pulled, her mouth was full of gauze, and her lips were full of novacaine, her brain was still a smidge tipsy from the nitrous oxide, and the doctor was finishing up:

    'He looked at me oddly, half-smiled, and handed me a prescription.

    "It's codeine," he told me. "And with codeine, you need to take it with -- "

    "Wee-wee!! Wee-wee!!" I said, in my best attempt at whisky.

    "--food," he finished.

    Well, I thought to myself, no one's funny with a yard of gauze in her mouth and the lips of a dead woman.'

    I'm still laughing at that.

Final Score on the Chris Worth Scale: I was originally going to give this an $10.25, but I was was reviewing it, I was remembering some of the funnier bits, and wanting a copy of this to be hanging around to be reread at various intervals, kind of like my tradition of reading "The Santaland Diaries" from David Sedaris' Holidays on Ice a few weeks before every Christmas. SO, due to the rereadable nature of this book, I am adding 33% to my original value, and bringing it up to a $13.63.